Define Me
by Lady of London
Summary: Memories define us, so who is Natalya Arlovskaya, once her memories are stripped away from her? Waking up with a fake knowledge and no memories to back it up, Natalya, now dubbed Nathalie, must struggle to decipher the truth from the lies whilst being thrown in the middle of the government fight against terrorists, not even knowing which side she belongs to. Human AU, AmeBela.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

My first memory... I remember I was slowly drifting to and fro from consciousness, but every time I fell back into the dark lull, the images I had seen were instantly lost. I remembered the sounds though, so I kept repeating them, over and over again in my mind, so I would not forget. At that moment, they were all I knew. The only sounds I knew existed. Voices, angry voices at first, different ones overlapping each other over and over again. The volume grew and even though I couldn't move instinct told me to back away. I didn't know what it was called at the time, but the aggression was overwhelming though it wasn't directed at me. I slipped away for the first time into black; I never knew why, only heard the voices echoing across my blank mind.

When I awoke again, there were no voices, only a quiet hum that seemed to surround me. One word came to my mind: an engine. This was new, I'd never used this word and yet somehow I knew it. Previously I had no idea of anything that was going on and yet now I was able to determine where I was, and after that I began to ask questions. Why am I in a vehicle? Oh, another new word. Am I in motion? Possibly. I didn't have the answers but the questions kept coming. Who, what, when, where and how, but most importantly, and the one I remember that I kept returning to, why hadn't I asked any of these questions before? I was smarter now, that was for sure, but what I couldn't understand was why I hadn't been before. My line of enquiry didn't last long; not only did I not have the answers to anything, but the hum of the engine, and the gentle movement underneath me slowly lulled me into another sleep.

From then on it was a case of waking for a few moments, just a fluttering of eyelids, before falling straight back into unconsciousness. There were never any new sounds, just the repetitive hum of the engine carrying through my dreamless sleep until I woke up a final time. This time I could see everything.

It wasn't cold, but there was a definite chill in the air, and a cold breeze that brushed over my bare arms, and I slowly rose. My entire body had a dull ache so when I tried to push myself up my arms wobbled underneath my weight. Even my eyes stung when they were slowly pried open, allowing me to see – or remember seeing – for what felt like the first time. As I sat on a cold stone floor, I could only say that I was in a small room with wooden walls, but just as I was trying to gather my bearings came the realisation. The realisation that this little room was the first room I had ever seen in my life. The image, the layout, even when I closed my eyes it was all I could see. I knew what a room was. I knew its purpose, its function, but when I tried to remember anything like it all I came up with was... nothing. There was nothing in my memory. When I tried to search for images, the only thing I could find was the same room I was currently in. There was nothing else and yet I knew things. I knew this was a room but how could I when I'd never been in one before?

The only other things that were in the room were a wicker basket tipped on its side, another basket, and a blanket that I noticed draped to the side of me. I must've kicked it off in my sleep. The fabric felt rough and rather scratchy, and I frowned. I could frown? This meant I felt disappointed, didn't it? Were blankets supposed to feel like this? How would I know... I would later find these details irrelevant but at the moment I needed to touch, feel and see everything I could. Every smell and sound. Even if I couldn't put a name to it, I needed to know what it felt like.

The light was limited, with shafts of sunlight filtering through the semi-closed blinds that adorned the only window. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness by then, but I still wanted to see more. After flexing my arms and legs, trying to eliminate some of the aches and cramped feelings, I shakily got to my knees and then very carefully I brought myself to my feet. It was wobbly at first, and I stumbled backwards a few steps before I was able to maintain my balance, though I had to reach out and hold the wall for stability. Taking a hesitant step forward, I began to walk for the first time. The steps were shaky, and I had to hold out my arms to keep from falling, but after a while I got the hang of it and slowly made my way to the window. Toppling onto the window sill – my legs were aching as if I'd never walked before – I reached up for the string to pull up the blinds. I had to tug hard, but eventually with a loud shriek and a shower of dust, they rose to let the sunlight flood inside.

Suddenly the entire room was illuminated in an orange glow. There was nothing else in the room to see, only the pathetic blanket and cushion in the middle, and the wicker baskets to the side. Feeling more confident on my legs now, I strode over to the tall baskets and peered inside. To say I was curious was an understatement, but how could one have blamed me? The one on its side was empty, though the one standing up was half full with what I assumed was fruit. I reached down and picked one up; an apple was the name that came to mind. It was round and a light shade of green, but I wasn't sure if that was appetising or not to me. I wasn't even sure if this was real food. Since I wasn't hungry, or at least there was nothing noticeably telling me I was hungry, I returned the apple and stood straight. There was no choice then. The only thing left to look at in the room was... the door.

I had noticed it almost immediately, but I didn't want to leave the room until I had made sure I had seen everything and not missed anything. Maybe it was that, but there was also something nagging in the back of my mind. I frantically searched for something, just a word that I could place on it. Fear. Fear was what my mind was telling me. Of course I would feel scared, by going through that door I would be venturing into unknown, something that I may not be able to return from. I was right, of course, but there was nothing else in this shack, so to the door I went. It was surprisingly difficult to open and like the blinds required a little force, but soon I was able to slowly pull the door open and take my first step outside.

Overwhelming would once again be an understatement, but that is truly what it was. I was someone with no memories, only fake knowledge somehow stored in her mind, so when I took that step outside I almost scurried straight back in again. Almost. It was very enticing to just delve back into the shed and hide away.

It wasn't particularly beautiful, just some decking that I immediately walked on to, with some tatty patches of flowers and shrubbery behind a low wooden fence separating the shack from the trees that surrounded it. I was in a forest, and from the looks of it, a thick one that spread quite far. Above me was a wooden canopy that shielded most of me from the sun, and it continued along with the decking for quite a while in either direction. I looked either way; the shack I had woken in was one in three, and I was at the far end. I glanced to the forest, and then at the decking path. It would be easier to follow the path, I decided, and so I carefully made my way down.

Passing the next shack, the door wouldn't budge no matter how much force I applied, and the blinds were open just enough for me to see through, but didn't let in enough light for me to see anything inside. Huffing in annoyance, I could only try the next shack which to my surprise was wide open. The interior was an exact copy of my own though, even the same scattered blanket and cushion, although I could see that both of the wicker baskets in this room were empty. At the time there was little conclusion I could draw from this, except that there was nothing in here of interest.

Further down the trail, and I had left the row of shacks now though I didn't dare stray from the decked path. I'd come to the conclusion that I was brave, but not foolish. In my mind I could sense that danger was to be expected of woods, and that they should be avoided. I had nothing else to go by, so I took my own advice.

It was... a melody? Music. The sound was sweet and resonating, reverberating in my mind. Whatever it was – was it a guitar? – I certainly didn't know at the time, but it sounded beautiful. The first piece of music I had ever heard. But it was faint. I wanted to hear it better, but dare I stray from the path? In the end I didn't have to, because as I kept following the path I reached an opening in the forest. As the trees parted, there was water. Water everywhere.

The forest was opposite the ocean. Once again, something I'd never seen before. That would explain the salty breeze from earlier. Salty? Yes, that sounded like the right way to describe it. The sea has salt, that was something my mind was telling me. Hesitantly, I stepped down from the decking and onto the stony beach that seemed to stretch in every direction. In the distance I could faintly make out some sort of landscape, but for now I brushed it off as unimportant. What I was most interested in at the moment was finding the source of the music. It sounded like it was coming from my right, so this was the direction I turned.

As the sound grew louder, I knew I was heading in the right direction, and eventually a wooden pier came to view. Except now the music wasn't the most important thing. Now the most important thing was the person creating the music.

There was the fear again, although I promptly ignored it. Pushing myself forward, I almost ran towards the pier, and would have if my legs weren't as weak as they were. In a strange mixture of excitement and fear I was soon at the end of the pier, simply standing there in a sort of anticipation. Although this blonde person, I'd assumed it was a man, had probably heard me approaching, he didn't stop playing or turn to see me. Instead he carried on lazily strumming what looked like a guitar and tapping his foot on the wood. I approached cautiously with small, slow steps.

"H-hello?" I asked, and then I realised that that was the first time I had spoken. My voice interested me greatly, low in tone and feminine, albeit a little croaky. A quick cough quickly sorted that out. "Um-,"

"Your mind has been wiped. That's why you don't remember anything. I wasn't the one who did it, but I was the one who got you out of there before they took you away to do whatever they wanted to. I saved you, sugar."

His voice was different, harder and masculine although it had a higher, cheery tone to it compared to mine. He looked up at me and I could finally study his face. Not particularly chiselled, but toned well enough with bright blue eyes that glittered in the rising sun.

"Got me out of where? What were they going to do? ...Who are you?" The questions came without me really realising.

"You're asking a lot of questions. That's a good thing. But unfortunately I can't give you those sorts answers now. I will, don't worry, but for now you need to adjust to your surroundings. Take a seat, sweetie."

"... Is that my name?"

"What, sweetie?" He curved an eyebrow upwards; I must have said something silly. Chuckling he replied, "No, that's not your name,"

"D-do I have a name?" I didn't know why I needed it so much, and when he frowned I almost thought I must have been stupid to have asked.

"Um... Nathalie. Yeah... Yeah, that's good. From now on you're Nathalie, okay?" he said, and when he did I suddenly realised why I needed one so much. It was an identity, something that defined me as a person. Everything I did would now be contained within that name. I was Nathalie, I was a person.

"Nathalie..." I murmured, as if testing it out. Was this a name that suited me? Maybe I would grow to suit it, I didn't know.

"Take a seat then, Nathalie," he said with a smile. "I've got a lot of explaining to do, but for now I'll keep it simple, okay?"

He seemed so friendly and inviting, so I sat down as soon as he told me too, and dropped my legs over the edge just like he did. He didn't say anything for a while, only continued his lazy strumming and dipped his feet into the water. I leaned over the edge slightly, peering down at the gently lapping waves. One of my feet edged closer, but I was too scared to submerge it in the water.

"Don't worry, darling, it's not gonna hurt you; 's just water."

I looked up and for a second we locked eyes. I remember thinking 'I trust this man,' even though he was the first person I had ever met. It seems silly now, to have trusted him so easily even if it was just a case of wading through water. Turning back to the water, I slowly extended my toes in the sea, before quickly pulling it out again, giving a little gasp.

"Oh yeah, it's a bit cold," he finally added, with a bit of a giggle. I furrowed my brow and frowned, and realized I was quite determined to overcome this. In a sudden bout of courage, I plunged both feet in the same time, albeit causing quite a splash by doing so. The coldness definitely took me by surprise, but I didn't want to be laughed at again, even if it was a friendly laugh, so I kept them in. After a few moments I actually grew used to the temperature, it almost felt relaxing as I splashed around. The man was playing again with a dopey smile as he watched me play. We stayed like that for a while, whilst I took in the blending colours of the sky, the gentle sound of the lapping waves mixed in with the melody of the guitar. It was so serene and I would have loved for it to have lasted longer, except he had decided that now was a good time to break the silence.

"Okay then, what do you want to know?" he asked, and it took me a moment to realise he had spoken at all. Once I registered him speaking, I pulled my feet out from under the water and crossed my legs, rotating to face him completely.

"Tell me everything. I need to know. I need to know why I know things, and yet when I try to remember I come up with nothing. I need to know why I know that a stone should be hard and smooth, but I can't remember what these things feel like. I know that when you strum a guitar you make music, but before I came out here I couldn't even hum a melody. It just... Even now I struggle to find the right word for what I'm feeling. I mean I know them, but I've felt them before so how could I..."

"Frustrated?" he offered.

"Yes... Yes that sounds about right."

"Nathalie, do you trust me?"

"I don't know. You've told me my memories were wiped. Which means you could be telling me anything really, since I'm so vulnerable."

"But you don't know. Isn't that the point of everything you've just said?" he countered with a smile, but it wasn't a smirk or anything that seemed sly. It was a genuine smile, as if he truly wanted to help me.

"I don't even know how to respond to that," I admitted.

"You trust me enough to tell you the truth?"

Sincere. The word I'd been looking for since I'd met this man was sincere. He had a sincere look in his eyes and smile that made me feel secure when I was talking to him.

"You're smart. A little too smart if you ask me, but I don't mind. The last person we liberated was almost the opposite. Air-headed, easily distracted. Not the best asset but at the end of the day he's better off with us than he is with them."

"An asset? Why do you need me? To be an 'asset'?"

"We need people like you, because you're the only power they have. Without you, they have nothing to fight us with. Without you, without all the others like you, we have the advantage. We have the better chance at winning the battle."

"Battle? What are you fighting for?"

"Freedom."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I suppose this may be considered a quick update, but the previous chapter was a repost of something I had almost a year ago so I have quite a few chapters stowed away. I'll try to keep them regularly posted, but after a while it may take longer to update.

Chapter 2

"Where do you want me to start?"

"Your name, what you do. I don't know... Everything I need to know, really."

The sun was in the middle of the sky now, and we'd been talking about silly little things for what could have been hours. I asked him what were probably stupid questions but he would smile and answer anyway. He would laugh sometimes, but it didn't sound patronising so I let him get away with it. Occasionally the conversation would die out, and he'd start strumming his guitar again, playing cheery tunes that would make me smile, just about. But even though the idle conversation was strangely satisfying, there came the point when I just needed to know something. Anything he could tell me. This lack of knowledge finally got to me.

"My name is Alfred F. Jones, and I work in an anti-government resistance group where we fight to stop these sorts of things from happening. For one reason or another, they chose to wipe your memory so that they could condition you to do whatever they wanted you to. Whether it was for you to work as some kind of underling, or to hunt down people like me who want to liberate you, I don't know. Do you understand me so far?" he said in a new, serious tone. It didn't match him at all.

"Yes..." Although there were parts I still didn't understand or couldn't even grasp the concept. I was told why the government wiped minds, but I couldn't even begin to understand it. Why would they do something like that to someone? I'd found out in that one afternoon that memories make up almost everything about a person, so who were they to take that away?

"You look angry. I understand why. I was just the same."

"Are you... like me then? I mean, were you...?" I asked, hesitating slightly,

"Me? Hell no, but I've known people who were. Things like this, it... it destroys people, entire families. I don't know where you came from, but thanks to these guys there's probably someone searching for you right now."

I looked up expectantly. "Are you going to help me find them?"

He paused, took a breath and tried to say something, but could only offer a defeated sigh. "No, no I'm not. I can't. I couldn't possibly. The people they take could come from all around America; I don't even know what state you come from."

"So I'm never going to see my family again?" I asked, slightly agitated and with a furrowed brow, but I couldn't quite place why,

"What family?" he countered, but he didn't snap. "Before I mentioned it, you didn't even know you had one." That's why. The fact that I don't even know my mother or father or even if I have them. They could be dead for all I know, and now he was telling me I would _never _know.

"I know this is hard for you, Nat." Is that supposed to be a nickname? I probably would have taken it better if I wasn't so angry about the whole thing, "But if I could help, you know I really would. You have to understand how difficult it would be."

I gave a sullen nod and poked my toes back into the water, causing tiny ripples. Alfred sighed again, but I ignored him – my mind was in other places. This family. It was bothering me that I didn't know who they were. I tried to picture what a mother or father might look like, but it was virtually impossible. I barely knew what I looked like, save for the dull, rippled reflection in the ocean. Pale hair and pale skin dressed in a floaty white dress. I was ghostly in appearance save for dark indigo eyes. I kicked at the water, my appearance annoying me greatly. Everything was annoying me right now.

"I remember angry voices, they were arguing about something but I don't know what. Do you?"

"I'm not sure, there was quite a bit of shouting when we hijacked the van..." He looked off into the distance, deep in thought. "Though it didn't last for too long, I would think. Did you recognise my voice?"

I shook my head, "No, they were different. They had a completely different tone to them, older."

"I don't know then, it was probably sometime during the process," he said, shrugging.

"I remember an engine noise too... You said you hijacked a van?"

"There was a van taking you to your next location after you were processed. For us, it's the safest point for us to liberate you, since there are the least amount of government officials with you," he explained, very matter-of-factly.

"I see... Can I ask you one more question?"

"Go ahead, sweetie."

"Why are we on an island?"

"It's kind of, uh, for practical reasons? The island's quiet and isolated, whereas if I took you straight back to the city you'd probably get really overwhelmed and pass out or something. We found that out the hard way," he grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. I didn't like to think of what may have happened to others before me. "But its okay, you've taken this all in pretty well, so I'll call Peter to come fetch us in a minute."

"Ah, I think I understand," I mumbled.

Alfred stood up and swung the guitar around his back. Giving me a quick wink, he took out a phone and wandered back down the pier. The conversation was short and I didn't pay too much attention. Once he finished, I looked up expectantly. "Peter?"

"Oh yeah, he's like my little brother. You see, most kids ask for a car when they're sixteen, but Peter asked for a speedboat. He'll be here in about ten or so minutes," he quickly explained. "Come on, I need to grab some things from the shack." He offered out a hand, and with hesitance, I took it. It was definitely a strange sensation, to touch someone else's skin, and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not but I didn't really have any time to think about it as I was pulled up quickly to my feet. The force of the tug caused me to actually topple over as I lost my balance that, to be honest, was rather poor to begin with.

He caught me quickly, and I looked up, taking in the look of his face. Those useless features, hair, a nose, smiles that can only reveal so much. It was the eyes that caught my attention, such piercing blue eyes.

"Eh, sorry about that. You're a lot lighter than I keep thinking you are," he said with a chuckle, and released me. Did he always have to laugh at everything? Is this what everybody was like? It wouldn't really be a problem but I wasn't laughing with him. Did this make me the odd one out or him?

Still holding my wrist, he raced along the beach, pulling me with him. I struggled at first to keep up with his pace but he soon slowed a bit as we neared the forest. I didn't understand why we had to run in the first place, since the only good it did was leave me breathless when we reached the forest path.

"Come on, we should hurry before he gets here." I realised then that going uphill was not nearly as fun as going downhill. It was still beautiful though, I definitely couldn't deny that. It was fully light now and whilst everything might have been a little too bright, it at least helped me to appreciate the landscape. The colours were warm enough to break through the chilly air.

"Oh good, you're actually smiling for once!" Alfred's voice broke through my thoughts, and I noticed that I was indeed smiling, if only slightly.

We were back at the shack, and inside the room I had woken up in, Alfred was fishing around in the wicker basket. He picked out a pair of daps and some things I assumed were fruit.

"Firstly, put these on. Walking on all these stones must be killing your feet. And secondly, you probably haven't eaten in a while, so here, try this." He offered a piece of pastel yellow fruit, which I took and hesitantly popped into my mouth. Alfred's smile soon vanished as I promptly spat the flesh straight back out. Needless to say, I was not a fan of whatever he had just given me. Far too sweet for my tastes.

"Okay then, looks like we're going to have to keep banana off the menu, jeez. Great distance by the way," he laughed but I wasn't in the mood to laugh with him. I just wanted the taste out my mouth. "It doesn't matter too much, we can pick something up later on our way into town."

"Sounds fine, as long as it's nothing like that," I mumbled, slipping on the dainty pair of shoes.

Back at the beach, there was now a boat tied up next to the pier, with its driver fiddling around with the engine. Alfred took my hand, grinning (did he ever stop smiling?) as he led me over, whistling to announce our arrival.

The boy who looked up as we approached was a bit younger than I had expected with hair a darker shade of blond than Alfred's, and when Alfred jumped onto the boat next to him he was quite a lot shorter than I expected too. In truth, the two hardly looked anything alike. Alfred waved me over and I stood as close to the edge of the pier as I could, but not quite ready to take a step onto the boat just yet.

"Right then, Nathalie this is my little bro, Peter. Peter, this is Nathalie." He turned to Peter, "Now remember, Nathalie's a classy girl, so mind your manners around her."

"Don't treat me like I'm eight, I know how to act around girls!"

"Well, I'm sure your many non-existent girlfriends can vouch for that, but for now be nice and polite around the pretty lady."

"Um, excuse me?" I asked.

The boys looked back towards me and Alfred chuckled rather sheepishly, "Well, you are, aren't you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Never mind, come on and take a seat." He offered a hand and I took it, taking a rather shaky step onto the boat that dipped under my weight. I wobbled, arms flailing slightly. I was slowly starting to dislike boats.

Peter looked up as I struggled. "Don't worry, miss, this boat's as safe as safe can be."

"Oh, I-I wasn't worried." But it was quite apparent that I was. After all, as far as I knew this was my first time on a boat, and I wasn't really prepared for how much it bobbed about as I took a seat next to Alfred. Except I didn't really sit, more I sort of landed ungracefully as I lost my balance.

"Don't worry, it takes a while to get your sea legs," the kid tried to console, but I merely frowned in response.

"Well, I suppose it would help if I had any control over my legs to begin with..." I murmured to myself, and yet Alfred still managed to pick up on it.

"You've been asleep for a few days, and during the whole process you don't really move much, so I guess you're feeling all cramped up. Just give it a while and keep stretching them out and you should be fine," he told me, and I followed his advice, stretching out my legs and arms. It felt like I'd been asleep for a lifetime, let alone a few days.

The boat slowly drifted to a halt next to a new pier under a canopy of trees. The boys hopped off quickly with ease but this time as the boat dipped down Alfred offered me a hand getting off. Once my feet hit dry land I had to admit I felt a little relieved. I didn't think I'd be sailing again for quite some time.

The brothers started up some conversation which I decided had no relevance to me, so I just followed behind, staring mindlessly at the scenery once again. The only really interesting thing to see was the looming house we were coming up to, which didn't look too impressive, just an average, suburban, white-washed house. It looked rather clean and friendly, like any good house should, or so I thought. I couldn't really be sure.

The two had finally stopped wittering on and split off into different directions, Peter heading towards the house and Alfred further ahead. I realised I had drifted behind so I picked up my pace to catch Alfred up.

"Call Dad and tell him we're on our way, okay?" he called out, and then turned to me to add, "He hates it when I just turn up with strangers," with a sheepish grin, to which I just nodded in return.

"Yeah sure," Peter replied and Alfred waved the boy off as he entered the house before swivelling around to face me.

"He doesn't really talk much, does he?" I said, more of a comment rather than a question.

"Nah, he's a real chatter-box really, can ramble on about the craziest stuff, but Dad doesn't like him talking to your lot, so he keeps quiet when one of you are around," Alfred explained, and I replied with a small 'oh', still not really getting why he was referring to me as 'one of that lot', or even why someone wouldn't want to talk to me.

"Anyway, sweetie. Welcome to the mainland! At the moment we're kinda in the middle of nowhere, but we'll go into town as soon as I fix up my bike."

I nodded without a sound and he grinned in return, taking my hand once again to lead me behind the house. For some reason, I assumed the bike he was referring to was an average bicycle, which I might have jeered at. I was wrong, but honestly I would have preferred the first option.

Alfred took me into a little shed that looked like it was about to fall down if you even slightly pushed, to be frank I was rather surprised we made it out of there without the roof caving in. But the shed itself wasn't the only thing that looked like it was about to fall apart. With a wide and rather proud smile, Alfred took me to the back of the shed where something was suspiciously covered by dull cloth. He whipped it off, only to reveal a particularly sad looking vehicle, with a lovely dusting of rust. It looked rather old, and most importantly to me, it looked _unsafe_.

"This is your bike?" I raised an eyebrow. To say I wasn't impressed would have been an understatement.

"Yep! Now, I know what you're thinking... But she's actually real sturdy, okay?"

"Are you sure you don't have a car...?" I asked, looking around for a sign of any other vehicle, "I really wouldn't mind walking..."

"Sweetie, it's a three-hour drive, which means it's going to take a lot longer than that to walk. And anyway, it really isn't as bad as it looks, okay? I just need to fix up the wheel first; I think she's gone flat."

"Okay, then..." Though I still wasn't sure. Alfred seemed to know what he was doing though, so I decided to just let him get on with it. There wasn't really anywhere to sit, but with a bit of haphazard shuffling around, Alfred managed to clear me a space on top of a workbench.

A comfortable silence fell as Alfred began tinkering around in a toolbox and I played with the hem of my dress.

"So where will we be going? Once we get to the main city, that is," I asked, as I leaned over to get a better view at what Alfred was doing. He was playing with a mix of tools that I didn't really recognise, but after finding something that looked like a pump he looked up to answer,

"My dad owns a bookshop in the middle of town, it's not too hard to miss. It's one of those places that stick out because it looks really old and antique-looking in comparison to the rest of town," he replied, attaching the pump to wheel, "and basically he looks after the guys like you there."

"I see... And you said it was going to take long?" I was just asking pointless questions now, but there wasn't much else I could say and I really hated sitting there in the silence.

Thankfully, he seemed to understand I was struggling. "Yeah, about three hours really, but we'll stop at a gas station about half-way, since I don't think I'll have enough fuel to take us the whole way. Plus we'd need a break anyway, maybe get something to eat from the shop. That'll be pretty interesting, though. You didn't take too well to the banana you tried, suppose you don't know what you _do_ like to eat, huh?"

I shook my head in response, "No, not really."

"Ah well, we'll find something you like. They've got some good stuff there, it'll be fine." There was a short pause, "There we go, she's all ready now."

I dropped down from my perch, and brushed off my dress as Alfred stood up from his crouched position. "She's all ready for the road now, I just need to grab my coat and we can go," he said, and gave me a pat on the back as he slipped off outside for a moment, returning having donned a leather bomber jacket. He handed me a jacket too, something in a similar style that fell heavy on my shoulders. With a quick flash of teeth, the blond swung a leg over the vehicle and turned on the engine, which slowly spluttered to life. "You coming then?" he asked, but I stayed in place.

He tapped the seat. "Don't worry, Nat, I promise won't kill you," he said with a chuckle. I rolled my eyes and despite the fact I would have still preferred to walk, I took a seat behind him.

"Don't we need helmets or something?" I asked warily.

"Eh, I don't usually bother, but you can wear my one if you want."

I took up his offer because really, I didn't trust him enough to drive safely. He simply shrugged as he fetched me the helmet while I remained standing rather stubbornly, refusing to sit back down until I had some sort of head gear. Thankfully, the helmet fit fine, and Alfred was already revving the engine before I had finished sliding it on. He definitely didn't hesitate in speeding away, so much that I had to cling around his waist in fear of flying off. I got used to the speed eventually, though, and despite everything I definitely preferred this to the boat.

We rolled into the gas station just as the sun was passing the midpoint in the sky. The journey so far hadn't really interested me; it was just a lot of dusty, open roads that led me to believe Alfred really did live in the middle of nowhere. I think we passed a farmhouse half an hour before, but that was about it. The station was really the first sign of life I saw, and even that was rather empty. I didn't want to stray too far from the bike whilst Alfred was filling it up, but when he went inside I felt the need to follow him. I guess I just didn't want to be left alone.

The shop was rather small and pokey and the person behind the counter didn't seem too friendly. She had a look on her face that read 'I really don't want to be here', and didn't even bother to stop chewing her gum whilst Alfred paid for the gas. I didn't really know at the time why I was so transfixed with finding other people, but with my lack of memories I guess I was just curious to see what they looked like, how much variation we really had.

To my amusement, I did find someone else in the garage. An older woman, probably around her forties, and a young girl who couldn't have been more than six or seven. They were most likely mother and daughter, but on that realisation I felt somewhat saddened. At least I realised why; the conversation I had earlier, where he said that I probably wouldn't find my family again. That said, I didn't even know who my family was, or even if I had a family to begin with. The frustration of all this was getting worse and worse...

My thoughts were interrupted by a hand on my shoulder. "You okay, Nat?"

"Hmm? Yes, I'm fine. It's just... never mind." I turned to face him, and for a second I think I saw something other than a smile. It was a look of pity, or possibly empathy? I couldn't tell. It didn't last long, and his ever-lasting smile was soon back in place. He held out a long packet of something I didn't recognise.

"Look, I got you something better to eat. These are cookies, everyone loves them, so it would be weird if you didn't," he said, opening the packet up, and popping out one of the biscuits. Something told me that these would be better than the fruit I tried before, so I didn't hesitate to take a bite.

Well, it definitely tasted better than the banana, and I surprised myself with how quickly I gulped it down; it never occurred to me how long it must've been since I last ate. Alfred was grinning at me, and to be honest it was rather off-putting to have someone laugh at me when I was eating but I didn't complain, just sort of shifted around to look away from him whilst I carried on eating. Once we'd finished lunch we were straight back on the road again.

The rest of the journey blurred by without much chatter, and I pretty much zoned out altogether, not really paying much attention to where we were going. Only as we reached the town did I start to pay attention. I pushed myself off of Alfred's back to properly look around and the first thing I could think of was 'Wow, Alfred was right'. The city really was overwhelming. And the noise. Why was it this noisy? I thought back to the island where all I could hear was the ocean waves. Now I couldn't even make out the individual sounds; they were overlapping each other and growing in volume... I clung on to Alfred's coat and hugged him tightly for security.

The bike slowly drifted to a halt, and Alfred dropped his hands down to his sides. He nudged me with his elbow and then nodded to his left. In front of us was a building which indeed stuck out from all the others, just as Alfred had said. Compared with all the industrial blocks it was like a little piece of the past in this one tiny shop.

"Here we go, sweetie. My old man's book shop, _Hooked on Books._"


End file.
